The 'BARKING OWL' always has something to say, and like the feathered version, can be either WISE...............or ANNOYING!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Nature of Building OR A Bun in the Oven

Having been a carpenter for many years now, I think I know how to build a few things.

A 'turn-key' house.


1 big hole in the ground
1 truck load of forms for basement footings and foundation
1 or 2 truck loads of cement (preferably cement trucks)
4-8 truck loads of rough lumber and sheeting for framing walls and floors (depending on house size)
1 truck load of trusses
320 Mountain Dews (no need for Diet MD, it's so darn hot/cold out there you'll burn off the calories either by sweating or shivering) or Hot Chocolates
1 truck load each of windows and doors, insulation, and drywall
15 miles of 14 gauge wire and piles of fixtures, outlets and switches
8 miles of plumbing pipes and 1 small truck load of fittings
1 bunch of change orders, cost overruns, mistakes, and miscellaneous debates
1 truck load of kitchen cabinets and finish trim
1 boat loads of nails, screws, glue and duct tape (could be tricky if lot is not located near a navigable stream)
1 or 2 truck loads of paint, appliances, flooring and hardware
41 pounds of ham sandwiches and granola bars
1 big mass of accrued knowledge and skill
1 front door key


Work like a dog in all kinds of weather, unloading all those trucks.
Attach each item to another item using the connectors (nails, screws, glue and duct tape), for several months.
Eat sandwiches and drink beverages
Stop suddenly when front door key unlocks front door**
Go home and complain that you're getting too old for this and you wish you were a brain surgeon because then at least you're fingers would be warm

**I would be more specific, but I don't want to give too many more secrets away

Other things are easier to build. For example:

A Baby


1 little embryo (the bun)
1 super cozy place to dwell (the oven)


Wait for 9 months with Motherly patience and discretionary ingesting
Trust God to do His thing
In a matter of hours, do more hard work than 5 carpenters building a giant house do in a year.
Be delivered!

So much for 'building'. If the Mom takes care of herself as well as she should anyway, an amazing little living creature will be produced in less than a year! In fact, even if she must work tirelessly at other responsibilities, even if she is somehow malnourished and hurting, chances are her baby will grow and develop despite the loss. This is because someone else is doing the actual building, inside of her!

This part of psalm 139 is David's description of what goes on. God 'knitting me together' is one of the most vivid pictures in scripture.

One Grand Bun (Son)
In One Grand Oven 
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

And then some things are virtually impossible to build (but I think I know a way)!

Pumpernickel Bread

Serves One  (unless you are prone to share)


1 pumpernickel (whatever that is)
1 bread (preferably something yummy like doughnut bread)


Beat pumpernickel until it is essentially small enough to blow away.
Play 'air bake' which is like 'air guitar' so you are kind of like pretending you're baking.
Apply invisible and imaginary pumpernickel fumes to doughnut.
Call it pumpernickel bread.


  1. OMGosh,this is so incredibly funny and clever! Well worth the wait!!!

  2. HA HA!! You always seem to make me laugh. Mike--you HAVE to try Pumpernickel bread---it is just awesomeness!!

  3. LOLOL this was a great end to a great week!!

    thought of you...posted on my FB page of a young owl which visited this womans window when she was on vacation. AMAZING it left an imprint of the outline of its body,. thank GOD no carcass was found so the new owl survived the bang on the window.

    Love the imprint you left with us!! ((hugs)) so you like mountain dew too? LOL

  4. This is good! I worked in an engineer's office once where it had this sign on the wall, that read: "A human being is a 150 lb non-linear poor-efficiency machine that can be wholely reproduced using unskilled labor."

  5. EXCELLENT! Kudos from your first word to your last.

    Oh, and Jenn's right. Get yourself a nice loaf of pumpernickel--the stuff is really delicious!

  6. LOL! What a delightful post!

    And thanks so much for participating in last week's Limerick-Off! I just posted a new one and hope to see you there. :)

    Mad Kane

  7. This is awesome Dad! I was just looking at my little "bun" and marveling at how well-made he is... So as right as you were on that count, I think one of your estimates was waaaaay off--only 41 lbs of ham sandwiches??? And, whatever happened to PB and honey???


I can't wait to see your response so, unless you can leave a pizza, please leave the next best thing; your comment!