The 'BARKING OWL' always has something to say, and like the feathered version, can be either WISE...

The 'BARKING OWL' always has something to say, and like the feathered version, can be either WISE...............or ANNOYING!







Showing posts with label punchlines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label punchlines. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

PUNCHLINE; "These are your gloves!"

Back when my kids were young, I worked with a young guy named Nick.  (How come everyone back then was young except me?).  Anyway, Nick was a lot of fun.  Full of energy and youthful exuberance, he was always game for anything.  And he kept me as young as he could as well.  I drove my Isuzu Trooper across Shawano Lake to the job site where we were building a house that winter, and one day Nick brought his snowboard.  At lunch time we tied a line to my bumper and I dragged him down the road and out onto the lake while he showed off and slalomed in the snow.

Another day my wife and kids visited the job and Nick just went nuts.  He threw Victoria and Noah in a wheelbarrow and drove them all over the yard with his big blonde pony tail flying in the chill wind, and then he grabbed three year old Josh in his arms and started throwing him around.  Josh's nose started running like a faucet so naturally, I said:

"Josh, wipe your nose on Nick!"

He leaned in and complied when Nick, who, cooperating quite suspiciously, held up his big ol' yellow cotton gloves for Josh's convenience.

I said "Ha ha ha" (but in a more realistic and heart felt laugh), until

Nick triumphantly announced, "These are your gloves!  I stole them from your truck this morning!"

Good old Nick.  Did I mention that I hated that guy?

Friday, December 30, 2011

PUNCHLINE; "Wow, that's a lot of pills!"

So I go in to pay for my gas this afternoon and there are four clerks behind the counter: Young woman, middle-age woman, 30 something man and old(er) woman.  They are all talking to each other about pills.

Yw. says "I take some pills every day."

30sm. says "You know how many pills I take?"  and then flourishes a big zero with his thumb and forefinger.

Maw. says she takes some vitamins and a few pills.

Ow. who is taking my payment says "You don't want to know how many pills I take!  $27.38"

That's when I suddenly join the discussion.  "Wow, that's a lot of pills!" I say, and then after all four lend their attention, "Twenty seven thirty eight??!"


Ow. rejoins dryly with, "Watch out, we have a sharp customer in here."