The 'BARKING OWL' always has something to say, and like the feathered version, can be either WISE...............or ANNOYING!







Sunday, November 25, 2012

Free Of Me


I stood on top of that hill and watched. It was ice cold and the wind blew strong in my face through the whole day.  Yet I stood still and looked, till the sun set in the west one more time.  As night came on, the last thing my eyes saw through their weak tears was that my hands had turned blue, and I found that my legs ached and were stiff with frost.

She had not come back, nor would she, this time.  Filled with gloom and with a shirk of grief I tried to turn and walk back to my "home", which had been turned by me to a real hell.  But I tripped, and fell, and bled.  I fell hard, like a tree that falls to the dread ax, but I was cut by my own ax; I had made it wide and I had honed it so sharp, that once it turned back to meet my roots, I knew that I could stand no more.  I beat my wife once too much and now, in her strength, she was gone.

Laid on the hard rock ground, bared to the now black sky of doom, with no one who should think of me or care for me or save me, I could but wait to die.  I knew that she would soon be free of me.  My one last vain hope was that in death, I, would be free of me.





Did you notice the pattern in this story?  The challenge today was to write something using only one syllable words.

By the way...MILLERWRITES copy is COPYRIGHTED. Why cut and paste when you can simply copy the link?

18 comments:

  1. Mike, I think this is the best thing of yours I've ever read. And you created this using only single syllable words! Excellent!

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    1. Thanks Beth! That means a lot to me. Once I came up with a whole mono-syallabic sentence, I just kept going. But I had NO idea where I was going after that first sentence.

      Thanks for the challenge!

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    2. Thanks Beth! That means a lot to me. For one thing, it means that you didn't fully appreciate my analysis of nature vs. nurture! http://millerwrites.blogspot.com/2011/11/snot-bubble-stunts-and-social.html

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  2. Evil Editor: I see a few extra syllables. Mwahahaha.

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    1. Really? Where? If there are any, I missed 'em.

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    2. Perhaps "evil editor" translates to "wrong editor"! Perhaps, Joyce, you are referring to words like tripped and turned etc? I checked those out on a website that declared such words to be single syllables. When writing, I did catch a few that slipped in, so perhaps one or two real multisyllbs did slip by though, so can you point them out?

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    3. I have an idea for the next challenge Beth: Considering my post above, perhaps you should challenge us (at least me) to write one whole paragraph without using the word "perhaps" three times!

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  3. I think you did a brilliant job. This was so poignant and sad...but brilliant!! I loved it Mike!!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. The incredible truth is that, in this fallen world, we all (abused and abusers)lose! Without the redeeming power of Jesus Christ to heal and forgive and then restore both parties there would be no hope at all.

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  4. What is not to love here? I am with Beth, one of my favorites ever!
    The sadness is so strong and yet, the freedom from and her freedom to, make it all end right.

    You rocked this one Big Guy!

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    1. That's cause of my BS in geology. Get it Jo? You said I "rocked" this one? Geology? Rocks? Never mind. Thanks!

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  5. Ah-- this is ex cell lent (I can do that, right?) Sort of sad but you did great!

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  6. amazing job doing this weeks challenge !!! I really enjoyed it !! :) great work

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  7. Great story with simple words. Not an easy thing to do!

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  8. This was brilliant!! Yes, it is one of your best! Really, really well done, Mike!

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